Spotting the Posers: A TEFL Tale from the Kingdom
In the strange and often funny world of teaching English in Saudi Arabia, you meet all sorts of people with big personalities and even bigger stories. Many teachers arrive with one goal in mind: to avoid teaching as much as possible. Meet Stephen Zimmer—a man who really took this goal to the next level. Hired to teach English, Stephen quickly made it his mission to stop being a teacher and turn himself into a famous movie producer.
Stephen’s grand plan? Start a TV studio at the English school where military commanders could read daily news on camera, and cadets would supposedly watch from their classrooms. If you’re wondering why English teachers were suddenly doing military news, you weren’t the only one. It was a pretty wild idea, especially since the most “exciting” news was usually about class cancellations. But Stephen insisted he was the perfect guy for the job.
This wasn't really about sharing news—it was about sharing Stephen. He wanted a job where he wouldn't have to teach and where everyone would pay attention to him.
Stephen spent a lot of time in the teachers' lounge, telling everyone stories about his “work” at Disney. He threw around fancy film words like “blocking,” “lighting,” and “camera angles.” He acted like lesson planning was beneath him, like he was too important for regular teacher duties. But there was one big problem—Stephen’s Hollywood act wasn’t very convincing.
You see, Stephen didn’t exactly look the part of a movie producer. He was, well, a bit on the heavy side. No matter where you saw him, you could tell he’d just eaten, and Stephen sure could eat! Every day at "The Oasis," the only restaurant on the compound, Stephen always ordered two lunch specials—not just one. And these weren’t small meals. Each one came with a big main course, a giant salad, a huge soda, and a dessert. Stephen happily ate two full meals, two desserts, and double the soda. Nobody could understand how he did it, but everyone noticed.
If you walked in while Stephen was eating, you’d probably get pulled into one of his stories about his so-called “producer days.” With his mouth full, he'd talk about cameras and movie schedules, spraying crumbs everywhere. He acted like he was trying out for a movie, always being super dramatic. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any more ridiculous, Stephen would pause, lean over, and let out a fart loud enough to rattle the windows. And he didn’t even try to hide it! He acted like it was part of his performance—completely unfazed.
You’d think all this strange behavior would make people take him less seriously, but Stephen didn’t care. He was “above” regular teaching; he was destined for bigger things—or so he said. But in Saudi Arabia, new teachers are on probation for a few months, and this is when Stephen’s act started falling apart. After three months, Stephen’s big stories and noisy “performances” caught up with him. As much as he wanted the Hollywood lifestyle, the truth was that he was not good at the one job he was actually hired to do. There were even rumors that he kept farting during class, which did not go over well with the students or fit in with the culture of the Kingdom.
After three months of trying and failing to become a TV star, Stephen’s time in Saudi Arabia came to a quick and quiet end. No matter how much he tried to rewrite his story, it didn’t go the way he wanted. Maybe he’s still out there somewhere, trying to convince people he’s the next Spielberg. But one thing is for sure: in the TEFL world of Saudi Arabia, posers are pretty easy to spot—especially when they come with a side of double lunch specials.